


Sucker Bet

by Daphnean



Series: My EXO Challenge [8]
Category: EXO (Band), f(x)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, F/M, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-08-17 12:32:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8144182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daphnean/pseuds/Daphnean
Summary: There's a lot he could lose, asking Kyungsoo about kids.





	

Movie night at the Kim’s was a weekly tradition that long since surpassed their college days when they’d always have to explain to the ignorant that they weren’t brothers, just Korean with a common surname. Luckily, now adults with careers, they still found time to manage this little ritual, even if it meant alternating hosting duties each week.

Jongdae looked over at Kyungsoo, his boyfriend currently trying to smooth his hair before putting on a black beanie, and let the idea that had been mulling in his head spill out into words. “I think I lost a glove, babe.”

Looking over, the smaller man’s brows furrowed. “You usually keep them in your pockets. I’ll check the closet again.”

“I already looked. Didn’t see it anywhere. I guess you’ll just have to hold my hand.” Jongdae kept his tone casual as he held out his ungloved hand. “Don’t want it to get cold now.”

Kyungsoo gave him his best exasperated expression, only softened by the fondness in his voice. “Jongdae. We’ve been together how many years now? Do you really need to pull this shit with me?”

Jongdae laughed, bright and loud in the entryway as he leaned in to give the shorter man a kiss to the nose. “It’d be easier for me not to tease you if you weren’t so damn cute when I annoy you.”

“So I’ve been told.” Kyungsoo’s smiles were powerful, easing the venom of his next words. “That’s it. We’re breaking up.”

Jongdae smirked as those words were followed by a soft kiss, languid as Kyungsoo’s fingers slid nimbly into his pocket and put the missing glove back on his hand. He wriggled his newly gloved fingers before walking them up the other man’s chest.

“Ah, so that’s where it was." Jongdae traced his finger around a button on Kyungsoo’s coat. “Always in the last place you look.”

The other man didn’t even acknowledge the remark with a comment, instead turning and grabbing the cupcake carrier by the door. “Move it, Dae or I’m leaving you here.”

Laughing, Jongdae grabbed their keys and led the way out.

\--

“Uncle Soo! Uncle Dae!” Jongin’s voice was bright as he opened the door, nearly letting the puppies out, but Jongdae was quick to the rescue, scooping up the two squirming poodles in his arms.

Once everyone was inside, he let the two pups back out onto the floor, where they flopped about before righting themselves and dashing off into the living room. Normally, Jongin would chase them, but he immediately latched on to Kyungsoo’s leg, looking up at the plastic carrier.

“What kind of cake did you bring me, Soo?” The five year old’s soft voice whistled through his missing front tooth as he squirmed, socked feet sliding on the hardwood floor.

Joonmyun appeared then, in his usual gray sweater, shaking his head. “Jongin, you could at least say hi first. And not assume the cupcakes are all for you.”

“But aren’t they?” Jongdae was glad his cheekiness was rubbing off on the kid, especially with the grin that followed that reply.

Kyungsoo laughed then, ruffling the boy’s hair with his free hand. “They are for everyone, but I did make them special. Gluten-free, so you can have them.”

Even Jongdae could see the boy’s arms tighten around Kyungsoo’s leg in fondness. “Yay! Thank you, Soo. This is why you’re my favorite.”

“And what am I?” Joonmyun mock pouted, arms crossed over his chest.

Jongin giggled. “Dads don’t have to be favorites. They’re dads. They have their own list!”

While the two teased each other, Jongdae helped Kyungsoo out of his coat and hat before smoothing his hair. It was transparent, but he loved seeing his boyfriend with kids, that gentle tone he’d use and how he always tried to kneel to their level when he wasn’t preoccupied with baked goods.

“I’ll go bring these in to Sunyoung.” Kyungsoo gave Jongdae a quick kiss to the temple before heading in to the kitchen.

Jongdae finished taking his own coat off and gave Joonmyun a big pat on the back. “Dads really are beyond lists. And even then, Kyungsoo’s my favorite too.”

“I’m outnumbered.” Joonmyun was smiling, eyes crescents with amusement even as he tried to sound dejected.

Jongin took both of their hands. “Dinner. Come on. Mom made spaghetti!”

Neither man complained, but both pretended not to feel the tugs to their arms, slowly trudging behind the boy who looked as if he was pulling with all his might. Joonmyun dished out trouble just as much as he took it, which was half of the reason why he and Jongdae had remained such good friends after college in the first place.

“You’re both so heeeavy,” Jongin whined, turning to face them as he tugged harder, the sleeves of his Star Wars shirt slipping down to his elbows.

Joonmyun gave a playful grin. “Maybe because I’m not the favorite.”

A very pregnant Sunyoung and a focused Kyungsoo were both setting the table, she with the plates as he followed with silverware. Sunyoung looked up at them with the same sort of exasperated fondness that Kyungsoo had given him earlier in the evening. Jongdae had to wonder what sort of discussions the two had in private about Kim men.

\--

With their cupcake carrier substantially lighter, Jongdae and Kyungsoo left as soon as it was a sleepy Jongin’s bedtime, wishing the family goodnight. The car ride home was a quiet affair, Kyungsoo taking his hand a couple minutes in as he hummed along to the radio. Moments like this, where all of this world that mattered to Jongdae seemed so small and in reach, were treasures.

Back inside their apartment, Jongdae came up behind Kyungsoo while he was brushing his teeth, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“Joon and I are betting on the sex again.” He kissed just below Kyungsoo’s ear as the other man hummed in response around his toothbrush. “Think I’m gonna be two for two?”

Kyungsoo rinsed his mouth and chuckled. “I think it’s a girl.”

“Me too. So we’re totally a shoe in.” Jongdae scooted around his boyfriend to grab his own toothbrush (his red to Kyungsoo’s blue) and started to brush his teeth as well, words muffled by foam. “What should we bet on this time? That Xbox was an excellent prize.”

Bumping their hips to get Jongdae to move over, Kyungsoo grabbed the lotion for his face and smoothed it onto his cheeks, eyes closing. “We are a generation behind now…maybe a Wii U this time?”

Jongdae spat out his toothpaste and grinned. “We’ll never have to buy another console again as long as the Kim family grows.”

In the mirror, Jongdae could see Kyungsoo’s smile, bright even in reflection.

As they fell into bed, Kyungsoo slinging one arm around him, Jongdae let his mind wander back onto the night. The look on Joonmyun’s face as he talked about the duck theme for the nursery, Jongin’s excited boasts of being the best big brother, and Sunyoung’s soft smile as she rested her hand on her stomach; every moment just seemed to ache in Jongdae, an echo of his want.

Kyungsoo was wonderful with kids, whether it be his brother’s children or Jongin. Adoption was certainly something they could afford and they had the extra bedroom already. Jongdae would have already asked if he didn’t already know the answer.

Kyungsoo didn’t want children. It was something that had come up when they first started dating, back when they were both juniors in college. The comment wasn’t just a throwaway, one time ordeal. Jongdae could see it in the way Kyungsoo’s knuckles would go white as they passed a loud family in the grocery store or how he’d worry at his lower lip whenever left alone with his brother’s kids for too long. Jongdae was a man who took risks, but not sucker bets. And asking Kyungsoo for kids had zero odds for success.

While his eyes had been closed from the moment he hit the pillow, Jongdae finally made his thoughts go quiet so he could fall into the nothingness of sleep.

\--

Baekhyun was frowning at his computer screen as he adjusted some colors on the logo for the banner they were currently working on. It was a big commission, for a store opening, and they’d spent the past month finalizing layouts.

“I can hear you thinking all the way over at my station.” Baekhyun’s voice carried on a good day, but on a rougher day it was like a homing missile.

Jongdae sighed, running a hand through his hair. “We could talk about it, but it still wouldn’t do any good.”

“Well you dwelling on it certainly seems to be fixing it.” Sticking his tongue out in concentration, the blond adjusted the main color once more and seemed to be satisfied this time, stretching his arms above his head. “So spill so I can solve your problems like I always do.”

He let out a snort, and took a sip of his coffee before responding, “You can’t fix this. I want kids. Soo doesn’t. There’s no problem.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and pushed over beside him using his office chair, steadying himself with hands on the desk. “Was he a dick about it?”

Jongdae hesitated, hands hovering above the keyboard. “We…haven’t talked about it.”

“Aha. That’s your fucking problem.” Baekhyun looked so smug that Jongdae was tempted to pour his coffee into his friend’s lap. “Stop moping before you even have asked him.”

Jongdae stepped on his foot, the less messy option. “Because I already know the answer. He doesn’t want them. That’s fine, it isn’t…it isn’t like it’s something I didn’t know. That I didn’t expect with dating him. Hell, I didn’t think I wanted kids until…well maybe a little while ago.”

Hissing at the stomp, Baekhyun contorted to bring his foot up to rub at it. “You’re picking up violent tendencies from Soo as it is. It would prove dangerous for me if you two spawned.”

Normally, this is where Jongdae would snipe back a comment of his own, but instead he just let himself drift back to that little image that his mind wouldn’t seem to let go; coming home to Kyungsoo singing a fussy baby to sleep on the couch. Maybe to Baekhyun it’d be a nightmare, but to Jongdae it was a dream.

“Hey.” Baekhyun’s tone was softer now, serious as it broke him from his thoughts. “If it means that much to you…Kyungsoo’s either already aware of it or he’s gonna be. You can’t hide this from him forever. As much as you’re avoiding it, you both should talk about it. I’m not saying force him to have kids or give up on kids forever, but…you guys can figure something out. Every relationship is different or some shit like that.”

Jongdae sighed, but he let a smile cross his lips, gave Baekhyun a little nudge. “Underneath all the asshole there’s a really smart guy.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling you, Jongdae.” Baekhyun’s grin was back full force as he scooted back towards his work station. “Someday you’ll be like a butterfly and emerge from your douche-cocoon and be great like me.”

The simile got to him, got him laughing like a fool as he tossed a plushie from his desk at his friend. “Fucking get back to work, Baekhyun.”

\--

Baekhyun’s words proved true about a week later. Kyungsoo was taking the leftover grilled chicken and marinating it for dinner the next day while Jongdae loaded up the dishwasher. Dinner hadn’t been stilted, but Jongdae had seen the way the corners of Kyungsoo’s mouth held the words he wasn’t saying, could see it in the slope of his shoulders.

Wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, Jongdae perched his chin on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, one of the favorite ways he liked to cuddle to the other man. Here he could watch the micro-expressions Kyungsoo made up close; the furrowing of his brow, the soft flicker of his gaze, or even the way he chewed at his lower lip till it grew rough. There were a thousand things to love about Do Kyungsoo and Jongdae loved being the person to take note of some of the little things no one else was able to appreciate like he did.

“So are we gonna talk about what you’re thinking about.” Jongdae broke the silence as he watched Kyungsoo seal the container with a snap.

The shorter man’s eyes closed and he sighed. “Yes.”

“Babe.” Jongdae kissed just below his ear. “I’m listening.”

Kyungsoo was messy with communication. Sometimes he was blunt, straightforward and bold as he said his feelings on a matter with a conviction Jongdae envied. But other times, times like this, Kyungsoo had hesitancy, like he could feel his words were fragile and was trying to protect him in the confines of his mouth.

“You want kids.”

It was a statement and his voice didn’t waver. His tone didn’t lead Jongdae to a conclusion as to whether this was a good or bad thing either. So Jongdae replied in a similar fashion.

“Yeah.” He let his thumb trace circles on Kyungsoo’s side. “I do.”

Kyungsoo’s fingers drummed against the counter. “Do I have to list all the reasons I don’t want kids to you too?”

“Wait, people have been pressuring you for kids?” Jongdae tilted his head, confused. “Who-”

“My mother.”

That explained some of the tension currently leaking out of his boyfriend, firmly wedging itself into the conversation.

“I don’t want kids to please your mom,” Jongdae countered. “I want them because I just…I want the joy of helping someone else enjoy this life beside us. Help some little boy or girl grow up and give them the kind of love I know we have in us.”

Kyungsoo’s fingers curled into a loose fist against the counter and Jongdae felt like he was saying the wrong things now, even if Kyungsoo wasn’t the sort to yell or be hot-tempered. “I know you’d be a good father, Jongdae. I know I’d be a good one too, but…I don’t want my life to be defined as complete because I have a kid. I don’t need a child to prove anything to anyone.”

“That’s not why anyone should have a kid, babe,” Jongdae started, but he knew he was going to be cut off.

“Jongdae…I enjoy my life with you. Not having to find a sitter when we want to go take a trip to the ocean or when I need to go to a conference for the University.” He leaned his head against Jongdae’s, one hand moving to rest over the arms currently around his waist. “I don’t want to have to make excuses as to why I don’t want kids anymore, especially not to you and that’s not fair because you’re the one who deserves to hear them. I don’t want to make a child feel like a burden and I don’t want to give up parts of my life for someone who may grow not to even appreciate them.”

Kyungsoo candid like this felt so intimate that even Jongdae, who saw everything of the man he loved, felt like he was intruding on something private. Normally he always had the words, but he didn’t know what to say to this. The confession felt like an impasse. Neither party was right or wrong.

Again, it was Kyungsoo who broke the silence. “I…but I love you. I love you and know that there are a lot of fears, a lot of worries I have about children you could quell. Things I fear are things you’ll take as a challenge to conquer and make me feel right with. You’ve done it with other things I have hesitated about before, but even then I just…more than anything I don’t feel ready. Ready to be the parent I would want to be for a child.”

The smaller man seemed to be holding his breath, bracing for a blow. Jongdae could understand where the fear came from, if the implication of his mother’s words was any indication of exactly how much Kyungsoo had been dealing with when it came to this issue.

Turning the other man around so they could look at each other, Jongdae pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, then another to the other side.

“It isn’t selfish of you. None of this is. You’ve been thinking of this child and me so much, of your family…it’d be selfish of me to assume just because I want kids that we have to have them. And that’s why I never brought it up. If you’re not ready for kids, then you’re not. But if you ever feel like you might be or something…I’m here to listen. Even if it is just for you to tell me again that you’re not sure. Because of all the things that could change and would change, I really hope us being able to talk honestly like this, about kids or anything…I hope it never changes.”

With his exhale, Kyungsoo let out the tension in his shoulders. Jongdae could see the smile blooming at the corners of his mouth and it made him feel so much better, knowing that he’d had the right words to say. Strangely enough, he didn’t feel so heavy, even knowing that children weren’t coming into their relationship anytime soon. Maybe they weren’t ready yet.

“Dae.” Kyungsoo’s voice was honey warm, and when they came together in a kiss, Jongdae didn’t feel empty letting go of the image of Kyungsoo and a future child in his heart. Kyungsoo filled his life with so much joy, he didn’t know if he could fit anyone else in even if he tried.

That night, sleep would come easier.

\--

Jongin had to sit next to anyone holding his baby sister; it was his job as the big brother after all. It had only been a day since Sunyoung had Soojung, but the five year old was diligent, still wearing the “It’s a girl!” pin that Joonmyun had given him as soon as the little girl was born.

Like most other things he did in life, Kyungsoo held Soojung easily, naturally. He rocked her gently in his embrace, her small hands furling and unfurling as she looked up at him. Jongdae knew this image was going to stay with him for a long time; the way his boyfriend looked at the baby in his arms with such a soft wonderment.

“She’s perfect,” he said finally, looking up at Sunyoung and Joonmyun. “You did it again.”

Sunyoung still looked tired, leaning her head against her husband. “Even if it did cost as a Wii U.”

“We can never go to Vegas.” Joonmyun was flushed to the roots of his hair.

Laughing, Jongdae moved closer to Kyungsoo, little Jongin squished between them as he cooed soft comments at his new sister.

“I have to say, you guys do good work.” Jongdae let his head rest against Kyungsoo’s. Soojung blinked up at him, expression unchanging, her fingers still curled in the soft pink blanket wrapped around her.

Weekly movie nights were likely going to end with a lot more fussy babies and diaper changes, but Jongdae was thankful to get to see such a lovely family grow. Maybe someday, he and Kyungsoo would be a part of that mess, of sleepless nights and hushed lullabies. No matter the odds, the one thing Jongdae knew for certain is that he wants whatever journey being by Kyungsoo’s side brings.

**Author's Note:**

> This work is likely the most personal work I've ever put together. There's a bit of me in all of my characters, but I really identify with Kyungsoo here. A lot of my thoughts and feelings on parenthood reflect through him.
> 
> EXO and all other Kpop entertainers presented here are real people and so I remind you that this is just a fic, like a play with their stage personas as the actors. This is not intended to be a representation of who these men and women are or are not. Remember to love and respect them always. And thanks for reading! <3


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